EP. 155: Ending Workplace Triangulation: How to Foster Direct, Honest Communication

In short

In this episode of 'Coffee Break,' host Dr. Renee Thompson discusses the pervasive issue of triangulation in healthcare workplaces. Drawing from a personal experience of failure and subsequent learning, she defines triangulation as a communication breakdown where a third party is involved in an issue between two individuals without direct communication. The podcast explores the reasons behind this behavior, its detrimental effects on trust and productivity, and provides actionable strategies for leaders and individuals to foster direct communication and create healthier work environments.

Key takeaways

• Triangulation, or involving a third party in a conflict without direct communication, is a common and damaging workplace behavior.
• Fear of confrontation, lack of communication skills, and a desire to avoid conflict are primary drivers of triangulation.
• Leaders must actively address triangulation by encouraging direct communication, coaching employees, and setting clear expectations.
• Fostering a culture of assertive and respectful communication is crucial for building trust and improving workplace dynamics.
• The default for resolving workplace issues should be direct peer-to-peer communication, with escalation to leadership only when necessary.

Chapters

1. 00:00

   Introduction: The Toxic Workplace Environment

   The podcast begins by drawing a parallel between plants needing a nurturing environment to thrive and humans needing the same. It introduces the concept of a toxic workplace and the podcast's mission to break the cycle of bullying and incivility in healthcare.

2. 01:15

   Host's Personal Failure and Growth

   The host, Dr. Renee Thompson, shares a personal story of epic failure as a unit manager, framing it as a gift in retrospect. This experience, detailed in her book 'Enough,' was pivotal in shaping her current work.

3. 02:30

   Transition to a New Unit and a Manager's Wisdom

   After leaving her unit director role, Dr. Thompson transferred to a neurosurgical unit managed by a friend. She recounts a conversation with her manager about handling employee complaints, highlighting a three-step approach: ignore the first complaint, pay attention to the second, and have a conversation on the third.

4. 04:00

   The Revelation: Triangulation

   Dr. Thompson's manager revealed that complaints about her had been brought to her attention multiple times. This led to Dr. Thompson being called into her manager's office for a conversation, realizing she had fallen victim to triangulation.

5. 05:30

   Defining Triangulation

   Triangulation is defined as a form of gossip where an issue exists between two people, but a third person is brought into the dynamic without direct communication between the original two. This often involves an employee complaining about a coworker to a manager without ever speaking to the coworker directly.

6. 07:00

   Reasons for Triangulation

   The podcast explores why people triangulate, including discomfort with direct conversation, fear of retaliation, and a lack of communication skills. It distinguishes between being 'nice' (avoiding truth to not hurt feelings) and being 'kind' (telling the truth respectfully).

7. 10:00

   The Negative Impact of Triangulation

   Triangulation erodes trust, damages relationships, and hinders productivity. The host shares a personal anecdote about how this behavior affected her trust in colleagues after her manager's revelation.

8. 13:00

   Strategies for Leaders: Addressing Triangulation

   Leaders are encouraged to engage their teams in conversations about triangulation, establish clear expectations for direct communication, and coach employees on assertive communication skills. The default should be peer-to-peer resolution.

9. 16:00

   Strategies for Frontline Leaders

   Frontline leaders are advised to respond to complaints by asking if the issue has been discussed directly with the coworker. They should also use the 'what if the situation were reversed' technique and offer coaching on direct communication.

10. 19:00

    Conclusion and Call to Action

    The episode concludes by emphasizing the importance of direct communication and establishing a culture where triangulation is not tolerated. Listeners are encouraged to subscribe, review, and share the podcast.

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